Dynamite!

(or should I say dynooooo-miiiite!)

The last three days of November have been three of the most eventful in my life. And now is where I spill, because there’s a point in my life where I need to pass. There's also something I want to get across. There are people I want to say things to. Because I want to! And ... because this is temporarily my divulging/draining space. :P

Basicamente, over the past four days (including today), a lot has gone on and I’m just a little hesitant right now. Don’t really know what to do…But hey. Maybe this is just life. Ahh… I don’t know.
Okay. So Monday the 27th…. wasn’t exactly an electrifying day so that’s why it’s not included in the ‘three days’ mentioned above, but it’s when everything started. The next day was the 28th. I named it ‘Safe Today, Alive Tomorrow.’ You’ll see why later. :P
It was just…. AHH! ESTUVO LOCO!
...Francais. I think it’s pretty much a known fact that all French exams are horrific, except for people like Shravanti and Sonia. Best friends I swear! :P
...The previous day’s drama. Dear god, have mercy on me… I didn’t know what was happening!!
......I think I’ve been accused of PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING under the sun. It’s just so ridiculous and hilarious, but so serious at the same time. Sometimes I don’t know how I pull through some things. Thank god it’s all over now.
...I was supposed to go to Resh’s house. No note. No nothing. Just a big bag and a bunch of clothes.
...Swimming=dead. Primarily, twas sure as death and taxes that I wasn’t going to Resh’s place, because we had ‘swimming’ till 4. But we weren’t exactly told after assembly because we had a 3 hour exam and were told to ‘go’. I’m not saying that I wasn’t looking for a reason not to stay back, because clearly, I was.
...We left Resh’s house. Went to Bur Dubai. Nuff said.
...Certain people decide to believe rumors when they know they’re made by people who bullshit more than my computer freezes. Or maybe they don’t, but they do for strange retarded reasons that only they know. They decide to cause problems.
...Made a cat sick. *tear*
...Screamed at one too many people.
...Cried. Made three other people cry.
...Realized that someone I thought cared about me, and someone I told everything to whether they told me anything or not, probably wouldn’t care if I got run over by a bicycle and died. Honestly. When someone says they can’t call and they can only message (when you want to talk about something important), they’re not supposed to disappear for 3 days inbetween.
...It finally hit me how this whole ‘separation’ thing is (when I needed someone, and my ‘so-called-friend’ wasn’t there). I’ve never called my brother and gotten his voice mail.
...And that too. Left a message saying “It’s me Radhi. I’m walking on a street in Bur Dubai. I need to talk to you. Where are you? Call me back.”
...The one thing that can make anyone feel better is ICE CREAM. I asked Reshma and Leona if we could drop into Baskin Robbins at Burjuman (do you get the ‘name of the day’ now?) , and we did. Except………. I didn’t get any.
...I told my dad I would meet him at 4:00. Then 6:30. Then 8:00. And then finally we met him at nine. I died again in the car on the way home.
...*Finally got home exhausted. The next day we were getting papers. Peachy!*

Now the papers day. 28th of November. Honestly not your average day.
… I expected my marks to be okay. Turns out they were okay to bad. The one thing I was supposed to get above 70 on 80, I got 60s in. Thanks EVS. But that’s not it. Ahh screws! I’m not moaning about marks, I promise myself. So after getting three papers, we finally got math. Now Reshma and I were like “%^&*$#!!!!!”. How did I manage to screw up so bad? I mean it was so bad, that I was thinking to myself “I would have to become smarter to become stupid. I must be like…Dumber than a box of hair.”
But then that all changed….
Mrs.Premkumar took us to Al Noor. This was immediately after we got our math marks. Here I was crying about bad marks when there were all these young people which were born incapable of doing so many things we take for granted.
They would never be able to walk around alone in Bur Dubai, take the exams that I took, and so many other things that I regret doing. I have to use what I have, study harder, I should be just. Grateful. I feel awful.

The next day was the inter-school swimming gala. We came third, got whipped by Wellington, and just lost to DAA. We came third in our relays. But in the same spirit of the previous day, I’m just thankful.

And today… Today was my realization day. Everything hit me like dynamite! Everything seems to fall in place sometimes. I realized….. Sometimes you just HAVE to move on. You could be angry, sad, in ‘love’, irritated, mad for no reason, cynical and doubtful, pretending, who god damn knows?!? But you have to eventually. I figured out things with myself, and even though things aren’t even remotely sorted out, I feel good. There’s just one person who always helps me. No. He actually does something!, I’m not just saying it. There are so many types of people. There are those who pretend. There are those who are so stupid that somehow they think someone would lie to me about what I’VE done. Some just need to open their eyes! MIERDA! SEIZE IT THE MOMENT IT STRIKES YOU! WHAT YOU THINK… IT.. IT’S TRUE! Some people need to prioritize. Just sit down and introspect for a little while! Some people need to stop being such girls/drama queens/putas/emo freaks. Some people need to stop flirting with other girls when they’re going out with someone. Especially when the girl they're flirting with has a boyfriend. Some people should just grow up. Realize what life is. It’s wonderful. It sucks. Look at it from 100 different angles. Dammit do I even make sense?
This just all needed to come out! I want to out out everything, but I promised I wouldn’t edit anything in this, so sorry if you find it random and weird. All I want to say is that I have the best brother in the world, and he is just….He’s just awesome, and no one could ever come close to being as friggin cool as he is. Natasha Law, I’m soooo pissed off with you, but I love you and miss you so much! MOM! 16 DAYS! Reshma Varghese, you rock :D. And Nishant.. I’m sorry. I really am.

This post was for me.

PSST! Excuse all the spanish. :P Was simply in the mood for acting like Steph.

Ahhh. Tis precisely 2 A.M.
I'm supposed to be doing comp/sleeping/whatever.
Unfortunately though, I have the attention span of a hyperactive flea, and 'Navdeep publications' isn't making my life any simpler. Soooo yea.Here I am. Surfing youtube, bolt, and myspace videos. I came across a few good ones, and one was just SO cool, and strange, and hyper that I'm naming 'Video of the Month'. Not that I'm anyone to judge, but whateverrrr. Worth the watch! :D I was going to put up Micheal Richards ('Kramer' Actors' Racist Tirade At Laugh Factory) giant goof up, but there was a bit too much swearing. OOH! Another thing. Do any of you watch the Nobodys Watching videos? They're so funny man! Anyways, moving on.

Finally getting on to the actual video.
It's made by a european dude,Lasse Gjertsen, who apparently takes his 'hyperactive video editing style a step further' to make a song, using the piano and drums, when he doesn't know how to play either one of em. Hence the name of the video, Amateur. I just think it's REALLY awesome. Tell me waht you guys think!

*Decking the Halls....*

Today is… Today is the first proper day of winter! I’ve bored quite a few of ya’ll about how much I absolutely adore winter, now I move on to a bigger audience. . I have such fond memories of winter. Winter is like… Dammit, WINTER IS WINTER! Don’t tell me you don’t feel different in winter. Just think about it. Serene, full of love!, less whiny, and JOLLY!!!!! :P .. *sigh*

The days of winter… The weather is always perfect! That’s one thing I love about this country. It’s like spring during winter. The weather is just... AHH! To die for! It’s not too hot, not too cold and usually it’s breezy. Christmas is just… There’s nothing better than just being with your family the whole day. Christmas Eve nearly ties though. It’s like.. You spend the entire day having fun, going to all the parties which have kick-ass food, and of course, kick-ass people, receiving those lastttt few presents, and having the pleasure of trying to figure out what they are! And at the end of the day, you lie in my bed, snuggled under your warm blanket, in your room(which for me, is usually decorated accordingly) and just think of the days events. It’s just amazing. I don’t know… I’m speechless.

The smells of winter… It’s not quite the same here, but it innt' so much different. There are just some smells that make you feel like dancing! Walking into a house where Xmas cake is getting ready. Jesus Christ …!!!! I don’t think there’s one single smell that beats the smell of Christmas cake/pudding/whatever. When you think of winter what smells come to your mind? Cinnamon, Vanilla, Pine needles, wood burning in the fireplace, stews, and soups.. Really.. Makes you smile don’t it?

The clothes of winter… Taking out the winter clothes is always a highlight. Gathering hats, mittens, wooly blankets and scarfs. Not that you need them here.. But either way….

The sounds of winter… Bells, phones ringing, laughing, crying, mom screaming that the food's going to get burnt.. :P My favorite, the sound of Sonia singing Christmas carols. It brings back memories from last year. Miss you Tasha.

The habits and traditions of winter… Putting up Christmas trees is the best. I always get so carried away with decorating, my parents are usually shocked when they get home to see the halls 'decked' :P. Bows and wreaths, and MISTLETOE! Poinsettias, egg nog (or however you spell it) and ginger al! .Taking long walks, spending time with people, presents!!! Holidays, long icky flights, shitty airports/amazing airports.. The list could go on forever..

But best of all….

The people of winter… No matter what happens... The best part of winter, is being with the people you love the most. I miss you mom.

Anyways.. This post.... was just to say..... HAPPY WINTER!! :P
Peace out!!

My Passion.
I have a problem. A threat to productivity. A possible attachment to a product of boredom, but an addiction, nonetheless. I’m not exactly sure what it is, but I’m addicted to drawing.
I don’t expect any of you to comment, or think anything of this, because somehow I feel like I'm writing in a diary... But I need help, help deciding if my addiction is my passion. Today, while ‘studying’, my utter and complte enslavement decided that it wouldn’t let me rest! There in front of me was the best of ten notebooks I had unconsciously made for my art, and I was getting finicky, with it tantalizing me and all! I had an itch, no ordinary itch, more like those ones you get when you wear a cast. They just don’t go! I started doodling in a corner, which turned into some strange monstrosity, a mix of my name and tendrils of green highlighter fire. I gave in.
Only… I’ve never been sure if it’s a passion… Ohhh .. Passion means absolte devotion, right? There’s some line saying that above all, you should decide whether you can put your whole heart into somethng, and if you can’t, then take out whatever part is in it. Since I left Florida though, I haven’t done anything to promote it. When I was little, I was hooked on arts. I went to Stetson University for Ballet.. and during the summer, for art, where I sold my first painting. Since I moved here, I’ve been a vegetable....
I never forgot about art, just set it aside, but now it’s come back. I don’t think I’ll ever stop. Correction, I won’t ever stop. A friend the other day used the word ‘stupid’ for me, said that if I was good at something, if loved it, I should do something! I think I agree with him now. By writing this short thing in ten minutes though, I’ve decided that art is something that I love to do more than nearly anything else, and it truly is one of my greatest passions. And I’m going to do something with it. Wish me luck..

PS: A thanks to Dolly! for giving me the idea of putting up some of my art ... Which I'll be doing soon enough.

Potatoes and Diamonds
Yep, I did indeed not think of not putting up a tedious ‘Oh my god exams are coming we’re all going to die’ post, but hey, what the heck right?
Today in the bus, on the way home, I wondered how the next few weeks were going to be like, without Niki around to force me to study, or to distract me. Either way, it drifted on to why everyone made such a big deal about these things we call 'exams'.
Whether it’s Laura, the hyperactive tube light (Sonia), who’s become extremely over-sensitive, or Reshma, who makes me shut up in French class nowdays (when she’s normally the only person who can stand me), or Nishant, who is studying ‘The Guptas’ while I’m on the phone, everyone completely changes before exams! Everyone’s under so much pressure!
Guys. Come on, it’s only two weeks! Don’t worry! I know I’m not one to talk, but just cram, and then at the end of it, enjoy yourself all you want. You guys know what I’m saying. The point of this was not to say that though, it was to say, DO AMAZING!, best of luck! And if you try your hardest, you’ll all do well! After all, diamond is only coal that made good under pressure! Peace out!